Activists on a tour to homes of AIG bonus recipients were injured during an incident on their bus this morning. A tweet received from a rider declared, "road blocked - WTF it looks like Hamburglar." A cell phone video showed the Monopoly Millionaire waving a thousand dollar bill in the face of a terrified passenger while a gleeful Jolly Green Giant is seen stuffing veggies into a screaming child. It's now believed the riders were victims of an attempted hijacking by corporate mascots.
Resident Doris Proound saw animals near her home. "Looked like a bull market gone wild. We're not by a woods so I didn't expect a bear, but there he was waving a toilet paper noose and chasing some poor man." Community security guard Emma Weapounne said, "We found an inspected by label at the scene. We think the Serta Sheep are involved."
Police report the mascots were chased off and the injured taken to area hospitals. "I was so scared I soiled myself," reported one rider. "It was terrible. Those Fruit of the Loom guys wouldn't stop laughing at me."
Organizer Dee Monstrator was glad it was over. "When I was a little girl I was afraid of clowns. Now I won't be able to look a Keebler Elf in the eye. Think I can get them to pay for my therapy?"
Reached for comment the Chiquita Banana expressed outrage, "Pshaw," she said, "Everybody knows the mascots are at an AIG event in the Riviera."
